Educated Black People (EBP) love to show that they are well connected. What better way to show this than by pulling strings? This ability has become a rite of passage for most EBPs.

It usually begins during a casual conversation with a friend or a new acquaintance. Someone will usually say they are looking for a job, trying to get their child into a preschool, or wanting to hire a white maid. The EBP usually says, “Oh, I have a guy that…” or “I went to school with a guy that….” This baits you into their conversation. On the inside, the EBP is formulating how far this conversation will go. Yes, they may know someone who can help you, but really they haven’t talked to that person in months or years. However, this doesn’t matter; the mere fact that they can say they know a person who can help you is validation of their EBP status. If they are pretending, they will ask you for your contact information and promise to make a few calls and get back to you. However, in reality, they won’t ever call or e-mail you—it was all smoke and mirrors. You have just been sold a dream, so you might as well go through the proper channels to get what you want.

Now, if the EBP is actually on good terms with a person who can help you, they will say, “Hold on. Let me step outside and make a call.” This means that they actually know someone who can help. EBPs love to make a call! Once the phone call is finished, they will return to you grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary. This is because they have performed the ultimate EBP act: They have shown how connected and educated they are by knowing someone important, and they have helped out a fellow BP. An extra 10 points for helping a WP, because most EBP sdon’t want to help WP, but they do it anyway to show off their EBP status and that they are better than them.